Supporting Your Child Through Transition Time

Starting a new class, year level, or senior school can trigger anxiety in many students, especially as they face new academic, social, or emotional challenges. 

Here are some ways to support your child in managing their anxious thoughts during this transition, remembering we do not need to solve the problems/concerns but rather be by their side and walk with them as they navigate through it:

1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings

• Create an Open Space for Sharing: Encourage your child to talk about their feelings. Try saying, “I know starting a new class can feel overwhelming. Do you want to tell me about what’s on your mind?”
• Normalize Their Experience: Reassure them that feeling nervous about changes is very common. Share examples of when you felt anxious in similar situations and explain how it got easier over time.

2. Help Them Identify and Name Their Anxious Thoughts

• Label the Worry: Encourage them to identify specific worries, like “I’m nervous I won’t make friends,” or “I’m scared the work will be too hard.”
• Use a ‘Worry Jar’: Write down each worry on a slip of paper and place it in a ‘worry jar.’ This externalizes their fears and makes it easier to discuss and manage each one.

3. Challenge Anxious Thoughts with Facts and Positivity

• Practice Realistic Thinking: If they say, “I won’t make any friends,” help them reframe it by saying, “I made friends last year, and I can make friends this year, too.”
• Identify Their Strengths: Remind them of times they successfully adapted to new situations in the past. Point out strengths, like kindness, perseverance, or humour, that have helped them before.

4. Use Relaxation and Visualisation Techniques

• Practice Deep Breathing: Teach them simple breathing exercises like inhaling slowly through the nose, holding for a few seconds and exhaling slowly through the mouth. It can help calm their nervous system in moments of anxiety.
• Visualize a Positive Day: Before bed or in the morning, ask them to imagine a good day at school — laughing with friends, understanding the material, or feeling supported by teachers.

5. Develop a ‘Coping Plan’ for the School Day

• Identify Coping Strategies: Create a toolkit of strategies they can use if they feel anxious, like taking deep breaths, counting to 10, wriggling their toes or going to a teacher/HOH/wellbeing tutor or Student Services if they need help.
• Set Small, Achievable Goals: Encourage them to set goals for each day, like talking to one new person or raising their hand once in class. Achieving these small goals can build their confidence.

6. Build Predictability and Structure at Home

• Create a Consistent Routine: Establishing a reliable morning and evening routine can provide a sense of control and security.
• Review Their Schedule Together: Knowing what their day looks like can reduce uncertainty. Reviewing it together and discussing what they are looking forward to can make each day feel more manageable.

7. Use Positive Reinforcement and Encourage Self-Compassion

• Praise Their Efforts: Reinforce their courage, patience, or any small achievements. Even just showing up each day deserves praise.
• Encourage Kindness to Themselves: Remind them that it is okay to have tough days and that they do not need to be perfect. Practicing self-compassion helps reduce pressure and allows them to bounce back more easily.

8. Stay Engaged and Supportive

• Regular Check-ins: Have regular, low-pressure chats about how things are going. Ask questions like, “What was something good that happened today?,” or “Is there anything that still feels tricky?”
• Work Together on Solutions: Let them come up with their own ideas on how to feel more comfortable, like inviting a new friend over or asking a teacher for help.

9. Encourage Positive Connections with Teachers and Peers

• Help Them Build Connections: Encourage your child to participate in school activities that interest them or suggest organising playdates or study sessions with classmates.
• Seek Teacher Support: Communicate any specific concerns with their teacher. Teachers can often offer additional support, such as pairing your child with a buddy or providing encouragement in class.

10. Be Patient with the Process

• Expect Ups and Downs: The adjustment may take time, and it is normal for anxiety to ebb and flow.
• Celebrate Their Progress: Every small step forward is worth celebrating. Let them know that even though it is tough, they are building resilience with each experience.

These strategies can help make the transition feel more manageable for your child and equip them with lifelong skills to cope with anxiety.

Mandy Barr

Counsellor