2022, Term 2, Edition 7 - Psychologist

Helping Children Manage Emotions

Resilience is important for children’s mental health. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, challenges, disappointments, and frustrations.

Resilient children learn to identify, express, and manage their emotions. Managing emotions does not mean suppressing them, denying them or not being emotional.

Managing emotions is the ability to understand and manage behaviour and feelings in appropriate ways to meet situational demands. This encompasses resisting or controlling highly emotional reactions like frustration or excitement appropriately, calming emotions, adjusting to change, focusing on tasks, refocusing attention on a new task and controlling impulses. It is important for a child to be able to appropriately regulate their emotions as it allows children the ability to:

Sit, pay attention and listen for learning
Control impulses that may otherwise be deemed socially inappropriate, e.g. physically lashing out if they don’t get their own way
Take turns in games, share toys and appropriately express emotions for positive peer socialisation
Reflect on behavioural choices and consequences to decide how to behave in future situations with less parental guidance
Manage stress by showing themselves that they can cope with uncomfortable emotions or unexpected changes through their ability to calm themselves down.

The part of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotions and impulse control is the pre-frontal cortex. This area will not reach full maturity until the age of 25 years. This explains why children and teenagers are more likely to be impulsive and have reduced capacity for regulating their emotions. Given that children are only at the early stages of developing emotion regulation, it can be expected that they do not yet have all the skills needed to handle some situations. Overtime, as they continue to develop, they will build upon their skills and become better equipped at regulating their emotions more independently.

Strategies to help teenagers manage their emotions include:

Acknowledge and talk about your child’s emotions with them. Encourage your child to name the emotion and explain how it feels in their body. Doing this can help increase their emotional awareness so that over time your child can internally process their emotions and calm themselves down without depending on parental guidance
Help your child identify situations that trigger them to feel strong emotions and encourage your child not to avoid those situations, but rather support them in developing effective ways to cope in such situations. Often children find it helpful to engage in physical movement like sport or body-weight movements such as push-ups or boxing
Be attentive to your child’s needs. If your child needs time before talking about their feelings, redirect their attention to an activity they enjoy, and wait until they are ready to talk
Model appropriate self-regulation for your child. Show them that you are able to complete frustrating or challenging tasks without becoming upset
Give praise when your child responds effectively and appropriately to an emotionally challenging situation.
Good emotional regulation in children not only positively impacts relationships, but it is also a strong predictor of academic achievement and success.
Effective emotion management allows a student to focus on performing during tests and exams, rather than being impaired by anxiety.
Students who can self-regulate also have better attention and problem-solving capabilities, and they perform better on tasks involving delayed gratification, inhibition, and long-term goals.
This effect carries on throughout life. An adult who cannot master emotional regulation enjoys less job satisfaction, mental health, or general well-being.

Alan Clarke

Psychologist

Helping Children Manage Emotions

Resilience is important for children’s mental health. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, challenges, disappointments, and frustrations.

Resilient children learn to identify, express, and manage their emotions. Managing emotions does not mean suppressing them, denying them or not being emotional.

Sit, pay attention and listen for learning

Control impulses that may otherwise be deemed socially inappropriate, e.g. physically lashing out if they don’t get their own way

Take turns in games, share toys and appropriately express emotions for positive peer socialisation

Reflect on behavioural choices and consequences to decide how to behave in future situations with less parental guidance

Manage stress by showing themselves that they can cope with uncomfortable emotions or unexpected changes through their ability to calm themselves down.

Strategies to help teenagers manage their emotions include:

Acknowledge and talk about your child’s emotions with them. Encourage your child to name the emotion and explain how it feels in their body. Doing this can help increase their emotional awareness so that over time your child can internally process their emotions and calm themselves down without depending on parental guidance

Help your child identify situations that trigger them to feel strong emotions and encourage your child not to avoid those situations, but rather support them in developing effective ways to cope in such situations. Often children find it helpful to engage in physical movement like sport or body-weight movements such as push-ups or boxing

Be attentive to your child’s needs. If your child needs time before talking about their feelings, redirect their attention to an activity they enjoy, and wait until they are ready to talk

Model appropriate self-regulation for your child. Show them that you are able to complete frustrating or challenging tasks without becoming upset

Give praise when your child responds effectively and appropriately to an emotionally challenging situation.

Good emotional regulation in children not only positively impacts relationships, but it is also a strong predictor of academic achievement and success.

Effective emotion management allows a student to focus on performing during tests and exams, rather than being impaired by anxiety.

Students who can self-regulate also have better attention and problem-solving capabilities, and they perform better on tasks involving delayed gratification, inhibition, and long-term goals.

This effect carries on throughout life. An adult who cannot master emotional regulation enjoys less job satisfaction, mental health, or general well-being.

Alan Clarke

Psychologist